BALANCING OUR MALE AND FEMALE ENERGIES
THROUGH THE HEART’S WISDOM
By Emily Laurel, IRMT

After an encounter in the fall of 1998 with her own mortality (in the form of oral cancer) and her subsequent miraculous healing, Emily Laurel realized the role her heart’s wisdom played in her healing.  In this second article of a series written for The Indigo Sun she will share what she is learning with our readers.

Several months ago I received a note from a friend requesting that I contact a healing school to invite several of the faculty to come to Houston to share their teachings with people interested in heart-healing.  I contacted the school and, when I told David Nash of the school about my recent tongue surgery, he gently pointed out to me that the tongue represented the heart in eastern mystical tradition, and  I accepted that as confirmation of the importance of healing at the heart level for myself with their help.

David sent information about their teachings, which are based on heart-centered healing through the Deep Love, which  helped me greatly.  Perhaps they would benefit you as well.

According to their Love Notes newsletter, the most profound thing you can do to heal and change is to tend the garden of your own Heart, and the most powerful way to begin this healing is to acknowledge, listen, and respond to the energies of your own inner male and female self. I accepted this idea but did not really see where healing a male/female balance should be the starting point, perhaps because I did not consider myself to be out of balance in this regard.  However, I changed my mind.

First, let’s look at the archetypal female and male essence qualities that can be found in each of us:

These qualities can be in our physical bodies, our emotional and mental perception, and in our spiritual experience and expression. We create our reality from the blending of these qualities.  If we tend to favor one pole or the other too much, we can create imbalance in ourselves and in our lives.  If we oppress or judge, over-control or misuse, deny or withhold energies from the male or the female, it has a reciprocal effect on the other pole and its expression. This is because the male and female energies are inherently never separate and deeply interwoven within us.

Their example of how it works really hit home with me!  Consider this.  We begin to become aware, either through a soft whispering impulse or a clear, insistent inner voice that we need to get more rest and relaxation (female aspect), and slow down from a pressured work or social pace.  This is an attempt to self-nurture.
 
We frequently ignore the whispering voice from within,  or we may register it but then judge it as being weak and whiny. Or, we may be aware of it and choose to ignore it and push a little more, because we are honoring the dictates of expectations from within ourselves (the pusher who says that you never do enough) or from outside (demanding bosses, co-workers or friends) who themselves are out of balance.  In these scenarios the female is dishonored and the male is not nurtured or restored.  This can lead us to create frustration, burnout, physical disease, or even an accident or other traumatic situation that can serve as a trigger to help us awaken to a need for change within ourselves.

Try this exercise to discover what we need to let go of or embrace to allow Creator energy more fully into our lives. Although it may take several sessions sitting and receiving, eventually you can gently guide these creative aspects of yourself into deeper trust, acceptance, and harmony, which can lead to the profound healing of the male and female aspects of your self.

1. Set the intent to begin self-healing with your own male/female split.

2. Sit in a quiet place and let your own breath help you relax and come more present in your body.  Take your time.
 
3. As you breathe, soften your heart and the top of your head and breathe a circle connecting the two centers.

4. When you feel aligned, allow your loving awareness to call up the picture and feeling sense of first your female and then your male. Take your time.

5. Notice as you do this any physical sensation you may feel, the look on the face of each aspect, how they are dressed, their posture.

6. After a while, you may ask the energy a question and begin a simple and rhythmically paced dialog with each  aspect. Stay aware of any emotional feelings that start surfacing and support them to come up and express.   Stay unconditionally present, no judgment, just allowing this part of your self to express.

7. When it feels right, you may invite the male and female to approach one another and watch and feel what happens.  Do they seem to be willing to communicate or even look at each other?  How much do they seem to trust or like one another?  Invite them to talk to one another and allow the expression to reveal any judgment, fear, resistance, anger, or hatred that may be held unresolved between them within you.  Keep allowing a safe space for deep revelation.  This opens and transforms the blocked energetic substance within you.
 
8. Present certain life situations you are experiencing to each aspect and listen to their feelings or input about them. Ask how you can best support the male and female within you right now.  Be willing to take action in your life on their behalf.

9. When you are finished, thank your male and female aspects, rest quietly for a moment and open your eyes.  Be certain to record your experiences to reinforce their importance.

As we explore our own state of balance between our female and male natures, we may find that we are wounded in our female or male aspect. This will determine our strengths, talents, and resources of self we have available, as well as the defense systems we use to survive. The Soul wants to heal the core wounds we have and will orchestrate life experiences that will help us realize our wound and awaken to the resolution.
 An important point made by the Love Notes article is that our female nature needs to be protected, spoken for, honored, and held as precious by our male nature so it can continue to impulse us to the fulfillment of our Heart’s desire. The male needs to be embraced, received, nurtured, and restored so it can take action out in the world on the female’s behalf…and so, the creative dance of the inner marriage goes on.
 Because self-nurturing was an issue for me, I began to take action (male aspect) on behalf of the inner impulse to self-nurture by setting new limits on my time and space needs, unplugging my phone, canceling appointments at times, and scheduling time to sit and just “be” in comfortable and pleasant surroundings for a while to restore.   When I feel filled, I can then return to work or social schedules but from a more balanced rhythm.

I invite you to look at how you are nurturing yourself and make whatever changes you can to be present in a more relaxed and vital way so that you can engage in your work and   relationships more effectively from a renewed body, mind, and spirit.  When we accomplish this, we’ve shifted our creation by honoring our male and female together.

In closing, I wish to acknowledge Sister Eileen O’Keeffe for her contribution to the healing of our community. 

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