Dear Marti: I have two cats, a male named Sam, and a female, Molly. They are both three years old and have been together for since they were kittens. Recently, Sam has started to use the dining room carpet as his litter box. I took him to the veterinarian and he was treated for a bladder infection, but he has continued to urinate on the carpet. Please help me, or I may need to find a new home for him. JS, Houston, TX (Note: The names of the kitties have been changed to protect the innocent.)

When I received this letter, my client was really at the end of her rope and was seeking help to solve her problem with Sam. He seemed obviously angry about something, but what could it be? Usually when a cat stops using the litter box their human has done something to upset them. Sometimes the human becomes so busy that they forget about their animals. I often find that human vacations are triggers for this kind of behavior. I asked Sam’s human about this, but she replied that she hadn’t been away from home recently, so this wasn’t the cause.

I had to go a little deeper to get to the bottom of Sam’s unhappiness. When I connected with Sam, and asked him what the problem was, I was amazed at the answer that came forward. He said that he was angry with Molly, the other cat in his home. He loves his humans, and had no problem with them. But it was the other cat in the home that was driving him mad.

Molly believed that everything in the household belonged to her. She was not willing to share anything or to respect boundaries. When Sam was on the couch, she would climb up on the couch and push him off. They had two litter boxes, and she used both of them. She would determine play time. Sam was being bullied and he was sick and tired of it. He needed to do something and it had to get everyone’s attention!

Urinating on the carpet certainly got the attention of his humans. They were so upset with the behavior that they were ready to find new homes for both of the cats. Luckily they were willing to try one more thing: consulting with me as communicator. The bottom line is that they really love both cats, but they certainly didn’t love their behavior.

As you may notice, each cat has a very distinct personality. Sam is an introvert and Molly an extrovert. Sam lacked self-esteem, where Molly was oozing with confidence. Sam was prepared to go to a new home if necessary, whereas Molly reported that she felt her humans were bluffing and wouldn’t really give her away.

When I come across personalities that clash, like those of Sam and Molly, I need to do some negotiating so that peace may return to the household. This isn’t always easy, especially when one animal feels that the world belongs to her. In this case, Sam wanted a space that was all his and that would be off-limits to Molly. He was attempting to create this territory on the dining room floor. This was the only way he knew to create a space from which Molly would stay away. I suggested that he could have his own bed; this would be more appropriate than his current behavior. He agreed, but now I had to convince Molly to stay out. She was baffled when I described Sam’s new bed to her, protesting that after all, everything in the house belonged to her.

Acknowledging her serene highness, I explained that it was very important for Sam to have a place that he could call his own. She eventually agreed that she would try, but she was very hesitant about the deal.

I suggested to their human that flower essences would be helpful in building Sam’s self confidence and increasing Molly’s cooperation. I made a custom blend of flower essences for each of them. Sam received the essences of Holly for jealousy, Shooting Star for full participation in life, Self-Heal for soul healing and balance, Red Clover for disconnecting from the negative aspects of group soul, and Balance and Stability, for self-correction. Molly received Filaree for shifting her perspective, Study and Create for redirecting focus, and Monkshood for emotional closeness with others.